|This article is a stub. You can help Greeny Phatom Wiki by expanding it.|
Mega Market (est 1988) is one of the largest and most profitable New York companies, with an annual turnover of as much as five thousand and a half dollars (according to the Financial Times). The chain was set up in the late 80's with the introduction of Mega Market hypermarkets. Their advertising slogan is "Only at Mega Market!".
Medical uses of the cerealsEdit
Trollz T's, a Trollz-licensed cereal in cherry, lemonade, grape, blueberry, and other flavors, has been used as a treatment for stone man syndrome, albeit with hilarious results. Geo Girl G's is a known cure for Amnesia. Glaceon O's is known to be beneficial in the treatment of Pneumonia but is not widely available in the States. Wow O's has been proved to help prevent atheism.
Q. Can Glaceon O's cure Pneumonia?
- A. Definitely.
Q. Can Boom-B's or Pirates of the Flavor cause cancer?
- A. Research using laboratory trilobites, giraffes, young kids, and women have found possible carcinogenic effects. It can therefore be assumed that, unless you are part of the 1% of the population that is either a trilobite, a giraffe, a young kid, or a woman, you are completely safe if you eat Boom-B's or Pirates of the Flavor.
Q. Are Trollz T's suitable for vegans?
- A. Who cares?
Q. Have Mega Market ever tried to market Mega O's?
- A. Yes. In 1996, Jake Richards (the long-time and current CEO of the Mega Market Corporation) consented to having non-essential parts of his body surgically removed (such as armpits, back of his knees, tonsils, appendix, heart and soul) and made into an exclusive brand of cereal from Gestle known as Mega O's. However, it was discovered that this was extremely toxic and only 2-year olds could eat it without suffering illness.
Q. Does God like the Mega Market cereals?
- A. Definitely.
"YOU, <insert name here>, must buy LOTS of Mega Market cereals RIGHT NOW!" (The Voice of God)
Mega Market Products - The current rangeEdit
- Little Guy Forevers
- Dr. O's
- Klasky O's
- Glaceon O's
- Wow O's
- Trollz T's
- Geo Girl O's
- Pirates of the Flavor
- Cloudy with a Chance of Flavor
- Rice Shreks
- Lionsgate O's
- Green O's
- Tootie O's
Internet the Cereal
Sonic the Hedgehog O's
Oreo O's (imported from Korea)
Possible psychoactive effectsEdit
The effects of eating Wow O's have been proved false by Gestle, Ltd. and Cereal Central, Ltd., the cereal manufacturers for Mega Market. However, some of the less popular flavours - such as Pirates of the Flavor and Tootie O's - are not so well known. Pirates of the Flavor also, it has been claimed, can have psychoactive effects. This is good, because the average price of a Gestle cereal is only $1, which is a lot cheaper than the bad drugs. Gree O's can be made to order - at a price. Little Bill's Crappy Cereal, among a few of the flavors, have been known to cause Hallucinations. Vanellope O's has been known to cause Pixlexia.
Some Mega Market locations and Gestle cereal dealers in your areaEdit
- Mega Market #457 near the Mall of America
- Every hypermarket on the planet.
- Mega Market #221 near the Porton Down Research Laboratory
- Mega Market #9981 near the West Bolyston Cinema
- Mr Marubbi's Ice Cream and Onion Sandwich Shop, Utica
- Ako Berkowitz's Magic Shop, Mill Road, North Attleboro
- Any city centre gutter on a Sunday morning (pre-chewed and 3 weeks old)
- Abandoned Discovery Zone dumpsters
- Chuck E. Cheese's dumpsters
Who founded it?Edit
Showbiz Pizza Time, Inc.
Speaking of CEC, Richards purchased, at auction, a Showbiz Pizza Place (restaurant/video game venue) in the Utica center, near the Mega Market store, around the time the other Showbiz restaurants were becoming Chuck E. Cheese's. It was converted into "Jake's Mega Fun Center & Pizza", however it's Rock-afire was kept. Similar to a Chuck E. Cheese's, it was/is a popular place for children's birthday parties. About a year later a Chuck E. Cheese's, in Syracuse, was purchased. By 2004 Jake's Mega Fun Center & Pizza restaurants were put in some Mega Market locations. The original Jake's Mega Fun location in Utica's Rock-afire is in mint condition (though the Mitzi bot is now wearing a Utica College cheerleaders' jersey and pom-poms rather than her regular, well-known green and white clothing and pom-poms).